To Fly On Your Own
by TheHopefulPuffin
Summary: Hiccup falls into a deep depression after Toothless departs for the Hidden World with the rest of the dragons. As his condition worsens, Astrid tries her hardest to save him, but she soon realizes there is only one cure for Hiccup - a dragon that is a world away. Can Hiccup pull through, or will Toothless's return come too late… ONESHOT *read the A/N PLEASE!*


**A/N: Characters will be OoC sometimes, so please don't send me angry PM's informing me that they are OoC - I AM AWARE OF THAT (you'd think I wouldn't have to say this, but you'd be surprised). Also, I am naming the Light Fury "Windwalker" in this story - as that is the name of Hiccup's riding dragon in the books and I think it fits her. Furthermore, this is a quickyfic! - I didn't spend a _ton_ of time on it because I didn't have a lot of time to spend on it…So I apologize in advance if it isn't very good, but thanks to any of you who do read the whole thing - and again, sorry! To be quite honest, I wrote it for my own enjoyment and it's pretty much aimless, so don't expect a killer plot. OK - I'll shut up now!**

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It had been almost a week since Toothless had departed Berk with Windwalker and the rest of the dragons…Stormfly, Meatlug, Hookfang, Barf and Belch…they were all gone…

The perches and feeding stations sat abandoned, the stables were empty and quiet, and only the occasional bleat of a sheep disrupted the nearly oppressive silence. To most of the Berkians, it seemed the world had lost its light and meaning, but it was the village's chief who took the dragon's absence the hardest.

Astrid had seen her husband's decline begin the day Toothless had left. The young man had disappeared for several hours without warning, only to return home later that night, shuffling into their room with his eyes glazed and empty. She had smiled at him with as much warmth as she could muster and had beckoned him to come to bed, however, she got no response. Instead, Hiccup simply sat on the edge of the bed for a moment, as if he was thinking about speaking, but no words ever came. And after a minute like that, he laid down on top of the covers, going to sleep without undressing or even removing his prosthetic leg.

A worried frown pulled at the corners of Astrid's mouth as she gazed at his prone, sullen form. She could understand his pain, she missed her dragon too…but at that moment, as she looked at the shell of the man she knew so well, she found herself missing Hiccup more.

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Astrid stood by the door feeling irritated as she tugged her boots on. This was the _fourth_ time this week she had had to venture out in the dark to find Hiccup and bring him home for dinner - well, more like _drag_ him home for dinner, she thought bitterly.

Pulling the door closed behind her, she tugged her fur collar closer around her neck and began the trek down the slope to the village plaza.

...Truth be told, her husband's recent behavior was weighing heavily on her mind that evening. She had noticed that he was growing ever more despondent, and the thought of him running off - as he was prone to do under stress - terrified her…

The seemingly ever-present knot of anxiety in her gut writhed as she thought about the things he _might_ do. Scaring herself with her ruminations, she sped up, feeling the need to find Hiccup as soon as possible to reassure herself that he was fine and wouldn't do anything crazy...

Fortunately, she didn't have to worry for long about his whereabouts, because it took less than a minute to find him - or, more precisely, _hear_ him.

There were loud crashes coming from inside the smithy, the sounds of breaking jars and clanging metal assaulted her ears as she drew closer. She had a good idea of who would be responsible for the racket…and she also had an idea as to what they were doing…she just had to get down there before he destroyed _everything_.

It took only a minute for her to reach the workshop, but when she stepped up to the door that was hanging open, she couldn't help but be stunned by the scene inside…

Hiccup was there. And he had ripped most of Toothless's spare tail fins from the walls and had already thrown them into the forge. Astrid squinted her eyes against the heat and leaned back slightly, even from this distance, she could feel the sweltering temperatures the over-fed fire was producing. Then something within the flames caught her eye...bits of leather saddle and harness…and all she could do was watch helplessly as they disappeared into ash and smoke.

Gone, just like the dragons.

Her eyes were watering, from sadness or the oppressive heat of the flames, she couldn't tell. She had to look away, instead choosing to watch the small bits of burnt papers and plans floating through the air before they settled on the ground amongst Hiccup's tools and instruments. So many of the delicate and complicated utensils were strewn across the dusty floor, mingling with shards of broken clay pots and sharp weapons.

The room was almost completely emptied of anything related to dragons - but more specifically - of anything related to Toothless.

After quickly surveying the destruction, Astrid's eyes landed on Hiccup, carefully examining every inch of him.

He looked terrible. Sweat was dripping off of his chin, mingling with his tears. His eyes were red and underneath them she saw deep purple shadows. He was flushed, but somehow also pale, and his hair was wet and plastered to his forehead. In his frenzy, he still hadn't noticed her and so he continued flinging his belongings into the fire of the forge with raw and bleeding hands.

That was enough for Astrid.

She finally collected herself and called his name, her voice strong and clear despite the fear swirling inside of her. The distraught man whipped around at the unexpected sound, his face changing from wild anger to shame and sorrow in a split second. And then he sunk to the floor in a puddle of sadness, clutching the fabric of one of Toothless's spare tail fins as the tears dripped steadily into his lap.

Her gaze softened at this and she stepped inside the sweltering room to crouch down beside her lover and best friend. She embraced him for a quick moment, recoiling slightly as she felt the heat radiating off of him. It was too hot in here, she decided, and the sharp objects coating the floor probably weren't going to help the situation…So she stood and pulled Hiccup to his feet, cooing gentle encouragements to him as she guided him to the door and out into the cool fresh air beyond.

Once they were outside, Astrid allowed Hiccup to sink to the ground once again, following him so she could look him over.

His hands were cut and bleeding but thankfully the wounds were all fairly shallow. It was apparent that he had been grabbing and flinging anything within reach without caring what it was - a bad choice inside a smithy - but he'd live. She could easily clean and dress them herself back at the house. Then, after placing his damaged hands carefully back in his lap, she reached up and took his face between her palms, lifting it so she could look into his eyes. The fire from before had died out of them, leaving behind a look of confusion and pain that broke her heart.

"Why did he go, Astrid?"

His voice was so hoarse and quiet, the question so sudden, that Astrid was momentarily thrown off guard. She thought for a moment, hoping that what she said would be of some comfort to him.

"He'll come back…" she muttered finally, and then speaking with more confidence, "He loves you, Hiccup…just as much as you love him, and I know he's missing you, too. You just have to wait, but he _will_ come back."

The young chief gave a single stiff nod as his eyes dropped down in defeat. He wasn't sure if he believed his wife or not, but he prayed all the same that what she said was true. His gaze then turned and locked onto the far horizon where the sky met the sea, and he stared at it for what felt like eons, but no black dragon appeared in the distance.

So they sat there together, the surrounding silence punctuated only by the crackling of the fire within the forge, as the last tangible pieces of his time with Toothless disappeared into nothingness.

Like Toothless, the souvenirs of their friendship now existed only in his memories.

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"We have to do something," Astrid said frustratedly to the small group of friends surrounding her.

They had all met up in the Great Hall to discuss their chief and friend's crippling depression. It worried all of them to see what Hiccup had become.

Fishlegs was the first to respond, gesticulating nervously, "But _how_? Hiccup and Toothless had a stronger bond than any of us had, we can't expect him to just get over it…"

"Yeah, well, we can't let him mope around and starve himself to death either." Snotlout replied with his usual abrasive tone, although underneath Astrid could swear she heard some genuine concern…

"Let's go get him!" Fishlegs finally suggested, doing his best to sound cheerful, "We can bring him here and we'll all have lunch together like we used to! I'm sure some warm food and company will raise his spirits!"

Astrid nodded thoughtfully, she knew Hiccup needed to eat, the last time she had seen him consume anything had been several days ago, and even then he had barely nibbled on the bread she had made for him. The company might just do him some good as well…even if it did include Snotlout and the twins…

"Ok," she started, "but under no circumstance are any of you to so much as _mention_ the dragons. Understand? And no pranks or _jokes_ \- I'm looking at you two!" Astrid scolded, pointing at the twins with a scowl that said ' _don't-test-me_ ' on her face.

And so the gaggle of friends set out for the chief's residence a short way down the hill. Astrid had left Hiccup there before heading to meet their friends at the great hall earlier in the day. He had been in bed and seemed to have no intention of get up any time soon, although she had hoped that he would.

Those hopes, however, were dashed when Astrid opened the door, because Hiccup was still in his bed. His back turned to them and the blanket lying crumpled on the floor. The house was dark and his friends shared concerned glances with each other as they felt the heavy air surrounding them.

All of them silently agreeing: this had gotten much worse, and it could not go on.

Astrid, doing her best to ignore the looks her friends were sharing, stepped forward and went to Hiccup. She sat next to his legs on the bed and gently rubbed the area below his knee and above the prosthetic that he had, once again, neglected to remove. She knew it was going to become a problem if he continued to abuse the old injury…He was always sore after the fake limb had been left in place for too long.

The contact only elicited a quiet moan from Hiccup, who weakly moved his leg away from her, but otherwise he made no move to get up. Astrid cleared her throat and blinked quickly a few times to alleviate the growing pressure in her eyes before speaking softly to him, "The gang came to see you."

It was hard to see him like this…

By this point, the group had shuffled to Hiccup's bedside and he finally moved to sit up, ever hating to look weak in front of them.

"What are you guys doing here…?" was Hiccup's toneless greeting.

"We came to see how you were doing!" Fishlegs piped up, "We were hoping you'd come have lunch with us at the Great Hall…it's just, we haven't hung out in a while, and we miss you!"

Hiccup's eyes were on Fishlegs as he spoke, and the husky boy seemed a bit nervous under his friend's uncharacteristically stony gaze.

Snotlout spoke up next, "You really should think about getting up Hiccup, you look like a pile of frozen yak shit!"

The twins snorted and Astrid's head snapped around so fast it caused Snotlout to jump, the fierce sheildmaiden was glaring daggers at him, promising him a thrashing, until Hiccup's voice broke the silence.

"Well…at least one of you is sincere…" he said as he swung his legs from the bed and made to stand up.

His backhanded comment caused his friend's eyebrows to furrow, but no one said anything about it. Instead they all stood aside as he tottered to his feet, favoring his bad leg and swaying a little from the sudden change in position.

Once he was up, he looked at the group and mumbled in a dull voice, "Let's get this over with…"

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The walk to the Great Hall had been pretty uneventful, that is, until they got to the stairs. This short distance from his house to the steps had used up all of Hiccup's energy and suddenly the young man could hear a high-pitched ringing in his ears, accompanied by a very annoying _whooshing_ sound. He felt a bit sick and even though he didn't want to appear weak, his hand shot out and gripped Astrid's shoulder tightly for support.

It had been almost strange at first to feel the contact, but she was happy to see that Hiccup was at least acknowledging her. However, once she turned around and saw how his face was drained of color and his forehead glistened with sweat, she realized something was wrong.

She reached out and grabbed him under his arms just in time and he collapsed against her.

Despite being an adult male, Astrid couldn't help but notice how light he had become as she lowered him to the ground, only half-listening to the worried voices around her.

"It's just a faint," she said, staring down into Hiccup's pale face, brushing his bangs away with her fingers…anything to establish contact with him and still her pounding heart.

"I'll go get Gothi," someone added, shortly before she heard the sound of retreating footsteps.

She pulled Hiccup's limp form into her lap and stared at his face. The slack features of unconsciousness were the happiest she'd seen him in weeks, and that broke her heart.

As they waited for Gothi to arrive, she continued to card her fingers through his hair soothingly, even as her eyes began to burn with tears.

Trying to keep her friends from seeing, she stared off to the horizon as Hiccup had done days ago.

 _Toothless, wherever you are…we need you…_

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Hiccup had been given a hasty examination by Gothi outside the Hall, and after being deemed healthy enough, he was back at home.

The elder said the faint had been caused by lack of food, which Astrid had suspected, but she still hadn't been able to quell that sickening sense of worry that had bloomed in her stomach as she watched him go down…

So now she sat in their home and watched the cranky old woman force the slightly out-of-it young chief to consume a cup full of hot lamb broth, as well as several herbs and a cup of tea before pushing him into his bed. Before long, he was in a deep sleep, and Astrid noted with some relief that the usually creased skin on his brow had relaxed somewhat. That was good, at least.

Then, Gothi gently pulled Hiccup's shirt up, revealing to his wife how dangerously thin he had become. Honestly, both women were quite shocked by the extent of his weight loss, the younger's eyes brimming with moisture at the sight. The gravity of the situation hadn't really hit her full force until then, as she sat and silently counted Hiccup's ribs. _He was wasting away_.

Astrid's thoughts racing with the fast beat of her heart. All of _this_ was happening because of how much he missed his dragon…He really was letting go, and the cold truth was that she had no idea how to heal him - not without Toothless, anyway…and there was no way to get the night fury here. She felt utterly useless.

As her hand combed soothingly through his soft auburn hair, she felt a small tap on her arm and turned to see Gothi beckoning her outside. With a final look at Hiccup's sleeping form, she turned and followed the elder.

As soon as she closed the door, Astrid saw the old woman's staff was already busy carving a long message into the earth. Her heart constricting as she saw her fears confirmed by Gothi's scrawling…

 _His mind is very sick,_ she paused and looked at Astrid who nodded once. _It is_ _not something that can be bandaged or nursed with herbs - the sickness is invisible, like a knife wound to the spirit._ Astrid's eyes prickled as she nodded again. She understood. The elder looked lost in thought for a few seconds as she stroked her whiskered chin, then finally she looked back up at Astrid before giving the woman's arm an encouraging pat. Writing one more thing before she shuffled off.

 _You must find a way to heal his spirit, or he may lose his life._

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The days following Astrid's discovery of Hiccup's deep depression and subsequent weight loss had been fairly uneventful. The young woman had been as supportive as she could be, spending much of her time beside Hiccup, who still refused to leave his bed. She had tried talking to him, engaging him in village life, reading to him, asking him questions, but nothing worked. It was obvious that Astrid wanted to help, but it was equally obvious that Hiccup wasn't interested in being helped.

Which had brought Astrid to the end of her rope.

The situation reached its inevitable boiling point late one evening when Astrid was feeling less than tolerant of her husband's continued moping. She had come in and in a moment of frustration and desperation, had ripped the covers off of him as he lay in bed.

"That's _enough_ , Hiccup! Get up! Get up, _now_! You've been in here for too long and I'm tired of it!"

No response.

"Can you not see how selfish you're being? This," she gestured to all of him, "isn't the Hiccup I know. What would Toothless think if he saw what you've become?"

He had simply stared at her for a moment, but all the anger that had instantly sprung up inside him at her outburst was smothered by the figurative wet blanket of his dragon's name… and then he rolled over, turning away from her. Which turned out to be a mistake.

Astrid was furious now. She had tried the compassionate tactic, she had tried giving him space, but nothing was working. She couldn't take it anymore and his dismissal of her was the last straw…Weeks of heartbreak and worry and pent up frustrations came bursting forth - and then she was on him.

Before she even had time to think about what she was doing, she had yanked him up and slapped him hard across the face.

There was no reaction other than the reflexive, stinging tears that brimmed in his eyes. He just stared at her, eyes reflecting a level of pain Astrid couldn't even comprehend. And immediately the young woman regretted what she had done and her apology began tumbling out of her mouth as she loosened her grip on him, reaching up to touch the red spot forming on his cheek…but he leaned away from her, their eye contact breaking along with her heart.

She could see the self-loathing and horrible thoughts he was thinking, probably telling himself he deserved it somehow, and she hated herself. Her mouth opened but Hiccup cut her off.

"Don't worry about it…I'll go…"

Her apology died in her throat as Hiccup stood up and limped out the door, but by the time she got outside to follow him, he was already gone.

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Mind swirling with self-abusive thoughts, Hiccup tottered as quickly as he could towards the woods. Somewhere in the back of his mind he knew he was still far too thin and weak, and the weather much too cold for him to be wandering around…but he didn't care.

Once he reached the concealment of the forest, he let his pace slow and limped on toward the cove. It was the only place he could think of where he might be able to feel Toothless's presence and maybe escape the pain that was tearing at his insides.

As he walked on, he vaguely noted that his mind felt cloudy, it was like nothing he'd ever experienced before. He realized he couldn't even _make_ himself care about anything…He didn't care that Astrid had slapped him, or that he was out in the cold wearing nothing but a thin wool tunic, a pair of trousers, and his prosthetic…He didn't care that his leg throbbed with every step, or that the forest floor was painful against his bare foot. It didn't matter that no one knew where he was…He just wanted to be with Toothless, and if he couldn't do that, then he just wanted to be alone.

In the end, he wasn't really sure how long it took him to get to the cove, but he was there now, slipping down the rocks until he reached the bottom. At some point he must have started crying, though, because he suddenly felt a slight sting on his cheeks when a chilly wind gusted by, clinging to the residual moisture as cold tends to do.

He limped to the edge of the pond, gazing around him as he went. The cove looked much like it had the first time he came here to meet Toothless. It was still so quiet and pristine, only a few things here were made by human hands...And automatically, he turned to where he knew the now-rusty shield would be, its paint faded and peeling, sitting wedged in the rocks. He remembered that day like it was only yesterday…the flashback brought a weak smile to his face. It was a piece of evidence that he had needed to see...proof that it had all been real.

All those happy memories…but it was all over now...

Hiccup's felt weary, both mentally and physically. He was alone. He was hurting. He just wanted to give up.

So he did.

The young man took one more step before his painful leg gave out on him, finally protesting the constant neglect it had dealt with over the past weeks. Hiccup didn't try to get up, though. All he could manage was to simply roll onto his back and stare at the sky.

A shiver ran up his spine, he was cold. But instead of trying to remedy it, he ignored it. As his eye's grew heavy, he imagined seeing dragons flying overhead. Night furies and light furies, deathsongs and skrills…They danced in the sky above him in a ballet only he could see. He was smiling sadly when his eyes mercifully slid closed.

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Toothless shot through the sky with Windwalker beside him, her wings beat in perfect unison with his and he could not contain his occasional roars of happiness as they got ever closer to their destination.

The Alpha dragon felt his spirit soaring higher than his wings could ever take him - at last, he was on his way to see his boy!

He had felt a little guilty for leaving his winged friends behind that morning en route to Berk, but he knew they would have no trouble finding it - he just couldn't wait any longer and there was no way the nadder, zippleback, nightmare, and gronkle could keep up. Windwalker was the only one who was able to keep pace, which he was grateful for.

He had missed Hiccup so much...sometimes he even found himself forgetting how to fly without the small, clever boy on his back…

But his duty had forced them apart. He knew he belonged with the dragons, he accepted that responsibility, but -

Windwalker cooed beside him, having seen her mate's features dip in the look that meant he was thinking of the noisy village and his tiny human…The black dragon looked at her softly for a moment and warbled back, the expression of sadness gone, though his wings now beat a little harder.

She flew on, lost in her own thoughts.

It wasn't exactly a surprise that Toothless had been down after his departure from his boy, after all, melancholy was an easy trap for a dragon to fall into - especially a dragon as intelligent as Toothless was. The light fury knew that the choice had been tough on Toothless, and sometimes she regretted it for him.

She saw the moments when her mate stared sadly at his tail, saw how he would draw in the dirt with tree limbs when he thought she wasn't around. His behavior was peculiar for a dragon, but she accepted it. He had lived among the humans for so long…and yet…there was something else about it.

All dragons knew of the Heartbond: the strongest connection two dragons could share, forged when the two creatures decided they couldn't live without the other. It did not have to be between two mates, and it was not uncommon for the Heartbond to be forged between two dragons who were dear friends…but she had never seen a dragon make the Heartbond with a human before.

She knew the two had fought together, saved each other countless times, been each other's wings…So it was really no surprise that the two had indeed bonded on that level. She just wondered what that meant for Toothless…and for Hiccup.

Because it _was_ true - inside each of them lived a soul that was half-human and half-dragon. Split but whole, all the same.

...

Toothless's joy grew as the oh-so-familiar island appeared in front of him. His excitement mounting to the point that even Windwalker could not keep up with his tremendous speed as he raced to the small hut on top of the hill. Hiccup's nest!

The dragon saw a door fly open and Hiccup's mate came running outside. She stood still for a moment and then she shouted his name.

He was home!

He folded his wings to his sides and shot down to the girl standing on the grassy bank. Her eyes were wet and he assumed that was from joy, but she had so many other smells on her, it momentarily startled him and caused him to croon and look around. Where was his boy?

He didn't have much time to think about it though, because his boy's mate ran forward, threw her arms around his neck and sobbed. After a moment, his confusion and anxiety began to grow with the way she clung to him. He knew something was wrong. She didn't smell happy, so the wetness leaking from her eyes wasn't the good kind…it was -

"Oh, _Toothless_!" the girl cried, and he flinched slightly from the shrill sound, though he kept looking at her intently, his eyes asking the question his mouth couldn't.

 _Where is Hiccup?_

She pushed open the door to the hut and revealed an empty room.

He poked his head inside, large keen eyes searching the room, but they found nothing. As he withdrew his head, he noticed that Windwalker had finally caught up and she had landed gracefully beside him. The light fury chirped worriedly, realizing something was wrong.

"He's gone…He left last night and didn't come home. It was too dark, and…Toothless…" Astrid was beside herself, which was something Toothless had never seen. What was happening? _What had happened while he was gone?_

But he didn't dwell on it. He knew where Hiccup would be and they were going to find him. He crouched down and gave a sharp bark - Astrid clearly understood. The young woman vaulted skillfully onto his back, and in an instant, they were flying toward the cove.

This was not at all the reunion Toothless had imagined.

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On the back of a dragon it took only a few minutes to reach the cove, and it took only a few seconds more to spot Hiccup…

Astrid and Toothless both cried out at the sight of the young man lying on the ground completely unprotected from the elements. Even from where they were, they could see his skin was ghostly pale, his lips a deep shade of blue from being exposed to the cold all night. Toothless landed right beside his friend and barely registered how Astrid slid of his back and dropped down beside Hiccup.

His eyes were locked onto Hiccup's face as he nuzzled his boy, puffing hot air over him…it was the only thing he could think of to warm him up. While he did that, Astrid was checking him over and began wrapping her fur cloak around him. They needed to get him home to warm up, the cold hadn't done him any favors…Astrid knew staying outside all night in the chill would be hard on anyone, but someone in Hiccup's state? That could have deadly repercussions.

Toothless understood the urgency of the situation and once Astrid had Hiccup ready, the dragon quickly gathered his boy up in his arms and launched into the sky. A second later, Windwalker came over to stand by the blonde young woman, silently offering her a ride back to the village. The girl laid a trembling hand on the light fury's nose in thanks before climbing onto the dragon's smooth back. She was too worried to even register how amazing it was to be back on a dragon.

…

Hiccup opened his eyes only briefly, the tiny movement accompanied by a shiver, and saw that he was flying above the treetops…held in the familiar arms of a jet black dragon. He couldn't bring himself to think too much about it, though he mused that if this was a hallucination from hypothermia, it was a pleasant one. In fact, he wished it would never end. So he gave into the happy dream, going back to sleep before he could form another thought.

…

Astrid and Toothless had worked together to get Hiccup into the house and onto the bed. Windwalker had decided to wait outside, not wanting to intrude or be in the way.

Hiccup's body had been frozen, though remarkably, he had avoided frostbite. Astrid had bustled quickly around the house, pulled his dirty clothes off of him and had put him back in his bed without bothering to redress him, pausing briefly to rub some heat into his frigid fingers and toes.

Toothless looked on curiously, head tilted when he saw the young women begin to shed her own clothes - which soon joined Hiccup's in a pile on the floor - before she hopped under the covers with him and pressed her body to his.

Toothless watched this with some interest, he had only ever seen the pair get down to their skins and jump into bed together when they were both awake, and usually Hiccup kicked him out at this point, he never saw what they did after...so _this_ behavior was a mystery to him, he wandered closer, wondering what Astrid was doing.

He sniffed at Hiccup's hair, then made an _ooof_ ing sound to get Astrid's attention. She was preoccupied with Hiccup but did spare Toothless a glance.

"Just warming him up, Toothless, he'll be fine...", and then she was back at her task.

The dragon appreciated the update, and his mind eased a little. Soon he had lept into the rafters and was staring down at his humans. The sight brought a giggle from Astrid as he nearly lost his balance. But once he found a comfortable spot to perch, he eased himself into a continuous chatter, clearly talking to his sleeping friend about all the adventure's of being the King of Dragons.

Astrid smiled at the sounds, relaxing with her face pressed firmly against Hiccup's chest.

Between the beat of his heart and the cheerful sounds of Toothless's presence, she felt real hope blooming inside her. Everything would be alright.

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Hiccup had been asleep for a couple hours after being found and brought home, his dragon now sitting beside the bed, large head resting on the end.

Admittedly, the young viking chief was not in the best shape, but Toothless wasn't overly worried about his recovery. He was here, after all, and wouldn't let anything else happen…even though…he couldn't help but feel responsible for _this_. And he wondered if he had done this to Hiccup by leaving...

He let out a sad warble as he watched over the sleeping form in front of him.

After Hiccup had been sufficiently warmed up, Astrid had slid out of the bed, gotten dressed, and had stepped outside. This left Toothless alone in the house with Hiccup and his thoughts.

Windwalker was probably out hunting, and Toothless idly wondered when the other dragons would arrive. He was sure that the humans were all aware of his presence by now, and were probably hoping to see their own dragons. From what he could tell, their absence had been sorely felt, and he cried softly again, regretful for having caused so much pain to the humans he cared so deeply about.

The sound caused Hiccup's eyelids to clench, a stray tear leaking out from between his eyelashes…but the young man still didn't open his eyes.

Toothless hated seeing this…his bright, lively, strong human - reduced to a mere shell of his former self. He had examined Hiccup closely when they'd got him home, he could tell Hiccup hadn't been moving or eating, and he wondered why.

For what felt like the hundredth time, Toothless snuffled and sniffed at Hiccup, checking him over for some issue he may have previously missed, but everything was as it was before, except...

Now Hiccup's eyes were open, and they were looking at him.

There was deep pain and sorrow and hopelessness roiling within those green eyes…and seeing it felt like a shard of ice pierced his own heart. At this point, the dragon didn't care about dignity, he wailed softly and plopped his head down on Hiccup's chest in an undignified sort of way, causing Hiccup to grunt and start coughing.

The night fury didn't realize that Hiccup hadn't believed he was truly there, thinking instead it was some cruel trick his mind was tormenting him with. That is, until Toothless touched him - proving to Hiccup that his dragon really, truly was there with him.

"…Toothless?" the word croaked from Hiccup's throat - still a little out of breath from the dragon head that was squashing his chest - sounding both happy and disbelieving at the same time.

Then a cold hand reached up tentatively to touch the dragon's face.

Toothless warbled back at him, pressing his nose into Hiccup's palm. And just like that, Hiccup was shifting and moving, his alarmingly frail and thin body now filled with hope and happiness once again. He put his one good foot on the floor and pushed himself up, not even caring that his prosthetic limb was on the other side of the room. He knew Toothless would never let him fall.

The dragon pressed forward, rubbing his great, smooth head up and down Hiccup's torso, chirping and chattering in a happy way that only dragons can. And then Hiccup was embracing Toothless, holding onto the dragon tighter than he had ever held onto anything before in his life.

It was when they pulled apart and Hiccup realized how _cold_ he felt, that he looked down and blushed fiercely, quickly grabbing a blanket to pull over his waist while he glared at Toothless.

"Look away, Bud! Gah! What ever happened to privacy?!"

Toothless grumbled something in dragon-speak, although Hiccup got the gist, glaring back at his dragon.

"And where the hel are my clothes?"

Toothless did his best to roll his eyes before he sat up and pushed Hiccup back onto the bed with a large paw. A harmless growl rumbling in his throat.

 _You're not getting up and you're not going anywhere, so forget about clothes,_ it said. Hiccup had the good sense not to argue.

He did, however, manage to spot a pair of his leggings and scoop them up off the floor, wiggling into them while under the covers. At least he could relax a little now.

And right at that moment, Astrid burst through the door, carrying a hot bowl of soup for Hiccup and a basket full of fish over her shoulder for Toothless.

It wasn't until she turned around and saw Hiccup was awake, and saw the looks on both of her boy's faces, that her face dissolved into disgusting, happy tears. She put her burdens down and ran forward, throwing her arms around Hiccup's neck and kissed him hard. Pulling away after a long moment to stare into his eyes.

"Hiccup, I am so sor-", but he cut her off again.

"No, Astrid...you don't need to. I am sorry...for everything. I was being stupid..."

The young woman nodded a little bit, but she was far from angry.

Her prayers had finally been answered, and not a moment too soon.

And just like an overload of good things after weeks of nothing but heartache, she heard a familiar squawk outside.

Then a familiar spiky head butted its way through the door.

"Stormfly!" Astrid ran to her dragon and threw her arms around her neck, momentarily being lifted clear off her feet by the tall nadder. And once she was back on the ground, she turned and looked from Hiccup to her dragon - clearly torn. But a beautiful smile split across her husband's features.

"I think she looks like she could use a few laps around the island...we'll be okay." he said with a wink.

Stormfly wasn't waiting for permission, though, and had already tossed Astrid onto her neck. Her laughter was filling the air for the first time in weeks as she and her dragon dashed down the hill to join their friend's reunions down below.

Turning her gaze over her shoulder, she smiled at the their home on the hill. Just knowing that Hiccup and Toothless were finally together brought peace to her soul. She looked around at all her friends, at all the huge smiles and happy dragons surrounded her, and with a cry of pure joy, then they were off. Followed swiftly by Fishlegs, Snotlout, and Ruff and Tuff, who all whooped and yelled from the backs of their faithful dragons.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Back inside, Toothless and Hiccup were enjoying their own reunion. Even while Toothless continued his assessment of his human.

The dragon was now sniffing at Hiccup's stomach and he snorted in concern, he was far too thin. His dragon grumbled loudly at him, pupils narrowed slightly as they flicked up to Hiccup's face - the young man understanding plainly what his dragon-friend had said -

 _What is the matter with you! Did you forget how to eat!?_

Hiccup had the good sense to look down at his feet - well, _foot_ \- in shame. And then he started crying.

It was a disgusting habit, but it seemed anymore the littlest of things could bring forth tears in the young man.

The night fury's expression lost any of it's harshness, and then he was pressing his smooth head into Hiccup's chest. Trying as best he could to sooth his friend.

 _I'm here, Hiccup, I'm right here._

"Toothless…I-I didn't know what to do without you, Bud. I just…I just, _gave up_!"

The dragon pulled away slowly to look at his friend, he understood what the man was telling him. He could _see_ proof of it in front of him.

"What am I supposed to do without you? You're…my best friend, Bud…I can't do this alone…I don't want to…" Hiccup had sunk back down onto the bed, burying his face in his hands.

As he watched, Toothless was more torn than he had ever been in his life. He had a duty to his species, but his duty to Hiccup was more important to him. And it was clear that what Hiccup was implying was true - that without Toothless, he would die.

Toothless knew that the boy had given up when he had first seen him that morning…But how could he keep Hiccup alive AND be the Alpha? Both of those tasks required him to be in two separate places…

But there _had_ to be a way.

And just like that, Toothless snorted in resolve, he would just have to come back as often as he could…stay for as long as he could. And he would, for the remainder of Hiccup's days.

He could do that, it would have to be enough.

So Toothless stood up, bumping Hiccup with his nose until the boy wrapped his arms around the dragon's neck so that Toothless could help him up. Then the dragon led him across the room to Hiccup's map that hung proudly on the wall. The two friends had charted the whole of it together...

Toothless looked at Hiccup and then he looked at the map, he sat up on his haunches and traced the distance between the Hidden World and Berk with his snout, back and forth until Hiccup understood.

"You'll…you'll come back?"

Toothless huffed happily, blowing air into Hiccup's face.  
 _  
Yes!_

Hiccup smiled and tilted his head in thought. It would still be hard to live without Toothless, but he guessed he would be able to manage if he knew that the dragon would come back to see him...

"When, Bud…how? I know you can't stay away forever…"

Toothless simply looked into Hiccup's eyes with his own. Years of friendship had given them the ability to communicate almost telepathically, and as they looked at one another, Hiccup just smiled and nodded.

"You're right...I trust you, Bud."

That seemed to satisfy Toothless, but the dragon wasn't quite done.

The room was filled with a familiar, disgusting sound as Toothless regurgitated half a salmon onto the floor at Hiccup's foot. The message plain and simple: _AND YOU NEED TO EAT._

Hiccup smiled up at Toothless and wrapped his arms around the dragon's neck again. And for the first time since Toothless had left, Hiccup felt his heart beat strong in his chest, rejoicing to be whole once again.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Toothless kept his promise to visit regularly. The dragons coming at least once a month to visit their humans - sometimes it was just Toothless and Windwalker, other times he would bring other dragons along with him, but the night fury's return was as dependable as the tide.

And even though the dragons were not always there, the people on Berk came to realize that you can't always change the way things are...All you can do is appreciate what you have when you have it. And always treasure what you've had when it's gone.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

 **A/N: So as I mentioned, lots of OoC stuff. Also, the idea for the dragons coming back to visit is from the final book in the HTTYD series. Toothless and Windwalker (Hiccup's dragons) are the last to finally depart for "the hidden world", and they are the dragons who most faithfully return to see their master. So it's not truly goodbye.**

 **Thank you to anyone who read and finished this story - it was long and sort of aimless, but I hope you enjoyed it at least a little bit!**


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